Sorry, no photos this time. I hardly ever do this, but I have a lot going on in my head as this baby gets ready to make her appearance. Selfishly - these posts are probably more for me than for you all. Thanks for hanging in there.
I know I haven't posted in a while. I have some good excuses for you:
1. I am huge. We're talking house-like, which is actually literally true since there IS someone living inside of me. Poor Adam. He pulls on my hand to get me to come with him somewhere and it takes me five minutes just to get up off the couch.
2. I've been putting the craft room/office back together, and I can't get the scanner working with the computer. I have some ultrasound pictures that I am really hoping to get posted before she gets here.
So, anyway, I've had so many thoughts and emotions as the delivery gets closer and closer. She could really come any time now, and I've been feeling some uncomfortable contractions the past two nights. I think after Christmas, it really sunk in that this was happening and that I was going to be the mother of two very soon. While I can't wait to have my daughter and to see Adam being a big brother, the whole two kids thing has brought some anxiety with it. What will I do when Adam throws his tantrums (usually when I can't pick him up or when - God forbid - I want a moment of peace while I go to the bathroom) or tries to run away in a store and I have a baby in my arms? How will I meet the needs of two little people? What about when they both wake up in the night? These are just some of the things I am anticipating.
Don't worry, I am also looking forward to wonderful things, like Adam giving his little sister kisses. I also have the advantage of being on the other side of having a newborn. I know that I will struggle with the adjustment at first - just like I did with Adam - but it won't last forever. I clearly remember thinking after Adam was born that I would never be able to cook dinner again!
What has been amazing to me in the past few weeks is how God has shown himself to me through scripture and the people in my life. I am so glad that He knows my anxiety and cares enough to care for me through this transition. Three specific things that I have been keeping tucked away in my mind and heart:
1. God continues to use my husband in ways that I'm not sure he even realizes. Not only has Phil been wonderful helping me with Adam and the house, he has said some things to me that I know are straight from God. The other night, he reminded me that I would not be taking care of two children while being pregnant. This may seem completely obvious, but it was such a relief to be reminded of that!
2. I had some girlfriends over with their kids the other day, and they were talking about a conference that took place at our church recently. One of the points that had really stuck with her was the reminder that God gives us what we need when we need it in a way that surpasses our understanding. If we anticipate our future, it will inevitably cause us anxiety because we have no idea how God will provide for us. We cannot fathom it. We only see the challenges ahead. Isn't that wonderfully true? Why is it so hard for us to think this way?
3. I am in a Bible study at church and right now we are doing Beth Moore's David: Seeking a Heart Like His. It's been great, but one lecture has proved to be especially life-changing for me. Beth was talking about the part of the story when Samuel goes to anoint David as God's chosen leader of Israel. At first, Samuel assumes that David's older, stronger, more experienced brother is the one to be anointed, but God reminds Samuel that "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). After all of David's older brothers are rejected, David finally stands before Samuel. God says to Samuel, "Rise and anoint him; this is the one" (1 Samuel 16:12). God knew without a doubt - "this is the one."
I often can't imagine that I will be able to manage with two young children (one that throws a tantrum when I can't pick him up). But, this story is so encouraging to me because just as God chose David, I know that he has chosen me specifically to be the mother of these specific children. Sometimes I have no idea why - I feel so inadequate - but God knows exactly why and He will equip me to do what needs to be done.
So, I hope you are encouraged too. No matter what you face, God sees your heart for all that it is and all that it isn't, and He says with absolute confidence: You are the one.
If you are still reading, I thank you for listening as I throw some of my thoughts out there!
I know I haven't posted in a while. I have some good excuses for you:
1. I am huge. We're talking house-like, which is actually literally true since there IS someone living inside of me. Poor Adam. He pulls on my hand to get me to come with him somewhere and it takes me five minutes just to get up off the couch.
2. I've been putting the craft room/office back together, and I can't get the scanner working with the computer. I have some ultrasound pictures that I am really hoping to get posted before she gets here.
So, anyway, I've had so many thoughts and emotions as the delivery gets closer and closer. She could really come any time now, and I've been feeling some uncomfortable contractions the past two nights. I think after Christmas, it really sunk in that this was happening and that I was going to be the mother of two very soon. While I can't wait to have my daughter and to see Adam being a big brother, the whole two kids thing has brought some anxiety with it. What will I do when Adam throws his tantrums (usually when I can't pick him up or when - God forbid - I want a moment of peace while I go to the bathroom) or tries to run away in a store and I have a baby in my arms? How will I meet the needs of two little people? What about when they both wake up in the night? These are just some of the things I am anticipating.
Don't worry, I am also looking forward to wonderful things, like Adam giving his little sister kisses. I also have the advantage of being on the other side of having a newborn. I know that I will struggle with the adjustment at first - just like I did with Adam - but it won't last forever. I clearly remember thinking after Adam was born that I would never be able to cook dinner again!
What has been amazing to me in the past few weeks is how God has shown himself to me through scripture and the people in my life. I am so glad that He knows my anxiety and cares enough to care for me through this transition. Three specific things that I have been keeping tucked away in my mind and heart:
1. God continues to use my husband in ways that I'm not sure he even realizes. Not only has Phil been wonderful helping me with Adam and the house, he has said some things to me that I know are straight from God. The other night, he reminded me that I would not be taking care of two children while being pregnant. This may seem completely obvious, but it was such a relief to be reminded of that!
2. I had some girlfriends over with their kids the other day, and they were talking about a conference that took place at our church recently. One of the points that had really stuck with her was the reminder that God gives us what we need when we need it in a way that surpasses our understanding. If we anticipate our future, it will inevitably cause us anxiety because we have no idea how God will provide for us. We cannot fathom it. We only see the challenges ahead. Isn't that wonderfully true? Why is it so hard for us to think this way?
3. I am in a Bible study at church and right now we are doing Beth Moore's David: Seeking a Heart Like His. It's been great, but one lecture has proved to be especially life-changing for me. Beth was talking about the part of the story when Samuel goes to anoint David as God's chosen leader of Israel. At first, Samuel assumes that David's older, stronger, more experienced brother is the one to be anointed, but God reminds Samuel that "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). After all of David's older brothers are rejected, David finally stands before Samuel. God says to Samuel, "Rise and anoint him; this is the one" (1 Samuel 16:12). God knew without a doubt - "this is the one."
I often can't imagine that I will be able to manage with two young children (one that throws a tantrum when I can't pick him up). But, this story is so encouraging to me because just as God chose David, I know that he has chosen me specifically to be the mother of these specific children. Sometimes I have no idea why - I feel so inadequate - but God knows exactly why and He will equip me to do what needs to be done.
So, I hope you are encouraged too. No matter what you face, God sees your heart for all that it is and all that it isn't, and He says with absolute confidence: You are the one.
If you are still reading, I thank you for listening as I throw some of my thoughts out there!
7 comments:
I remember being worried about having Asher (my second)...but like you said, God's chosen you for this child...and now (I just found out I'm pregnant with our 4th) I don't think it phases me because He does provide...and gives you the ability to juggle it all! I can't wait to see your new little girl! Michelle (comingupcollins.blogspot.com....in case you weren't sure which michelle from school!)
Great post Dana! Thanks for the encouragement. Excited for you to have your baby girl!
Great post! I think we all need those reminders at times :) All those things you are imagining might happen most likely will happen, but you will get through them a wiser and stronger mom. I have very distinct memories of Elijah having tantrums at very inopportune times when Evan was born. It's good that you know his triggers, so you can try to avoid them when possible. We still are ironing out the kinks with adding a third and Liam is 8 months already, so there is always a learning curve!
Can't wait to see pictures of your little girl!
You are definitely the most qualified to be those baby's mama. He created YOU specifically for the job, D. You are doing a fantastic job and when you have moments when you don't feel equipped, just keep looking up and ask Him to fill the gap. I don't know how anyone parent's without God, honestly!
Thank you for the encouragement, too, and remember Aaron and Moses- Aaron had the eloquent speech background, but Moses surrendered to God trusting His plan and following HIs lead. God chose Moses and trained him up to do that leading stuff... just as He has chosen you to lead those little Swensons!
Love you, D!
Beautiful thoughts on the eve of welcoming baby girl swenson into your home! I appreciate those thoughts as a mom of only one and know how overwhelming it can be when I anticipate the next step. Thankfully God has us in His plan and you (WE!) will do great! Can't wait to hear the good news of her arrival!!!
One boy and one girl...how perfect! I can't wait to hear about the differences between the two! I was worried about my third (lots) and my pediatrician told me that the older we get the more we have anxiety and worry. So....not only was I feeling huge I was told I was old. HA!! Thinking about you! Girls are so precious!
Dana, we are all here for you and so excited for you. You will do just fine as a mother of two. Any mother will tell you we all had your scared moments and anxiety before the arrival of our little ones. It will be an adjustment of course but before you know it, you won't be able to remember how it was with only one and you won't want to...most of the time. :) There will be crazy times when you want to pull your hair out and other times when they both melt your heart. It's one of those things which you think you TOTALLY got figured out one day and the next you throw up your hands and are humbled. Deep breaths help me and so do Mom's night out! You will do great!!! Hang in there and be sure to remember that you have a million moms pulling for you and if you ever need to talk, yell, scream, laugh or cry...we are hear for you! Don't feel like you are ever alone because you are not. We love you lady!! Go welcome that baby girl into this world! (oops, I'm pretty sure you already have!) CONGRATULATIONS! My baby turns two on Wed! Enjoy the little pink entering your life! Love you.
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